You feel like a big fat failure now. But you're not.
The number 32 982 is haunting me.
For March, I set myself the task of a NaNoWriMo-style writing month (to "win" at NaNoWriMo, you must write 50 000 words in one month), in an attempt to bolster my word count and to better log my achievements.
I have, in my wardrobe, a NaNoWriMo winner shirt from 2013. That November was crazy. I wrote 60 000 words (while still working part-time) all in two weeks. I would have powered on but my grandfather passed and then I started using online dating which...well...it kind of stole my time. But I did end up with a fiancé!
So there I was in February 2015 thinking "oh, this will be easy!". I did not then go on to prove that black is white and get run over at a zebra crossing (thanks, Douglas Adams) but I did learn my lesson.
The muse packed up and abandoned me in disgust. Pretty sure she'd have slammed the door on the way out. So not only was I nauseous and sleepy, I was beating myself up because for frak's sake - you can still work in bed when you're a writer!! Gosh, stop being such a whinger!
I feel like a failure. Thing is, a sick day would never have bothered me if I was beholden to a full-time job keeping me out of the apartment. Back in the day, I used sick days to write because it was the only time I had!
But this is a job. And being sick does affect your performance.
Recently, I watched You've Got Mail for the nth time. And I am holding fast to Birdie's words. I feel like a failure. But I'm not. I'm human.
And also? I still have a shirt that says I'm a winner. :P
Alyce Caswell is an aspiring writer who apparently lost her mind, threw away a steady job as an office junior and entered the realm of imagination.
She has blamed her accomplice and husband for giving her this most excellent opportunity.
Alyce has written articles, poems, short stories, books
and several embarrassing blogs. She hopes this venture will avoid the usage of cat gifs.
Links of Interest
A Rambling Rover
Alyce's travel blog which features various castles, stone circles and bemused musings about the Northern Hemisphere.